Enjoying Each Other
When couples get married or are in a long-term relationship, it is usually because we have found someone whose traits we believe are very compatible with our own and also because we have fun together and enjoy each other's company. When we get married we think that we will be within the 50% of couples who make it. I see time and time again couples who have reached a point in their relationship in which they do not know how to connect to each other. Time goes by. There is work and there are kids. There are stresses of every day life. One or both partners wants to decompress from a long or stressful day by vegging out. There is often unhealthy or lacking communication and one or both people in the relationship just stop trying. Both sides have a long laundry list of what the other person has done. I have found that upon starting coaching sessions, clients do not set aside alone time for each other without children, technology or anything else, but each other.
It is imperative to take the time to go out on dates or designate a day of the week in which the kids go to bed early and have a date at home. Without fun and remembering the enjoyment couples get from each other, we mirror disappointment, exhaustion, anger and frustration to each other.
If you are in this situation, before you start the date, have a talk with yourself about the fact that your relationship is more important than all the feelings that arise from your ego, such as hurt, disappointment and anger. Use your finger pointed in blame to stroke your partner's arm instead. By conquering those feelings temporarily for the date, there becomes room for the enjoyment of each other. Smiles and laughter lead to cohesion and unity. It leads to the opening of hearts and softness in communication. It reminds both sides the person each fell in love with. It is from that point that both partners feel able to lower their defense mechanisms and healthy communication can arise. In order to find out about exercises to improve communication and rediscover each other, book a session today.