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Being A Victim


Life does not go exactly the way we want. Sometimes very painful things happen to us and sometimes we make decisions which we painfully regret. This is part of what life is. When we let these kind of situations define us, we force ourselves to become victims. We remove the power from ourselves.

Staying powerless is an active decision and can mistakenly seem like the easy way to live life. Without power, we do not have to do anything. We do not have to work to change our lives for the better. Being a victim of a person or situation feels righteous. We say, "Poor me. I am good and innocent and this other person or situation is bad." It makes us feel better. However, it makes us feel better only momentarily in the same way that eating a giant piece of cake makes us feel when we are stressed. It is temporary and does more harm than good.

When we cannot move past feelings of victimization, we cause ourselves to suffer. This is true whether we feel victimized by another person, ourselves, or life. When we feel victimized, we are giving up the authority to make our lives better. We are giving up our responsibility. Our identity becomes one of someone who suffers. It becomes our habits and we see life's situations and also our lives through the lens as someone who is hurting.

Feeling victimized is habitual. It is addictive and completely drains us of the ability to be a catalyst to the success of our own lives. Feeling sorry for ourselves means that we do not actively live our life directed by our own active and healthy decisions. We become so accustomed to it, that we don't remember what life was like without it. We are a victim if we choose to believe so, because we are the author of our own stories. What we believe about ourselves becomes true.

The antithesis of victimization is empowerment. While victimization drains a person, empowerment gives vitality. When you empower yourself, you give yourself power. You become the authority of your own life, your own thoughts and decisions. You remove yourself from being sullen and learn how to become inspired. Being empowered also means being resilient and having the ability to handle life's tough situations without breaking down.

Take a moment to reflect on your day. Look at situations in which you feel helpless and start to feel sorry for yourself. Also notice times when you overcome and are empowered. What is the difference? What causes you to act one way in specific situations and a different way in others? Look inside yourself. You decide if you are a victim or if you are empowered. Only you can decide for yourself what you are, no matter the circumstance. What do you choose? To learn how to be the authority of your own life, get in touch today.