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Playing The Victim

Playing the victim occurs when a person gets offended often and manipulates other people into giving them attention. Usually this person feels genuinely hurt and does not realize that they are manipulating. When they get offended, it brings them attention and gives them a sense of control, because it usually causes other people to apologize. The offender feels bad and has to go to the victim to apologize so that they can feel better and know that this person has forgiven them.

If you are someone who is often offended, think about how often you feel as if you are a victim and why you feel hurt by something that others would let roll off their shoulders. Think about how much attention you get when you get upset with someone and why you feel that you need to act in this way. What is missing in your heart that you feel it helps you to play a victim? It is nothing to be ashamed of and is quite normal. It is also possible to break through this habitual behavior.

If you are someone who has a relationship with someone who plays the victim, and it could be a spouse, parent, child, friend or anyone, it is important to put boundaries with this person. Just because someone is offended does not mean that you did something wrong. Just because someone who is close to you chooses to feel like a victim by something you said or did, does not mean that you are actually at fault. In the same way that this person has habitual behavior which subconsciously causes them to manipulate, you can also have habitual behavior which enables them to do so. This is all part of the dynamics in human relationships and once you are aware of it, it becomes much easier to work through. Nothing is too big to handle if you have the right mental and emotional tools. To find out how to sharpen these emotional and mental tools, book a session today.

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