The Way We Act

Have you ever thought about how you act in public? This very sentence is quite interesting, because it is understood and accepted that we “act” in a certain way.

We are told from birth to act nicely in public. We put on our best behavior for fear of feeling shame and embarrassment. On a daily basis, many of us behave so differently than how we feel. We become removed from ourselves. We build masks and pretend, which is very draining. We apologize to strangers for nothing. We are constantly acting rather than being true to our nature. It is considered normal to hide ourselves, to quiet ourselves, reduce ourselves in order to fit in to what we think people we know as well as strangers expect from us.

Think back on today. Review it thoroughly in your mind. How many times have you apologized for nothing at all or acted differently than what you were feeling inside? It becomes ingrained in our psyches that we are people who should say sorry for just being. If we are out and our kid is misbehaving, we feel shame. We talk to our own child differently than we would at home, because not feeling embarrassed is more important than our interaction with our own children. It's interesting that we do this. It's interesting that we have this automatic perception that people we do not know are perceiving us negatively. What's even more interesting is how this makes us react in situations. We impulsively react as if we are bad children and the others are adults shaking their fingers at us. We also take offense quickly when strangers react in any way but the most positive way. We take offense and feel bad about ourselves.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “ No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” and this is very true. We allow what we fear others will think to completely dictate our actions, feelings and the way we view ourselves. Take the next week and observe yourselves. Observe how often you feel uncomfortable at work and in public. Take a few moments to observe how you feel when you think about how others think of you. It is very interesting to reveal what you actually think of yourself and also how you think others perceive you. For more information on how to connect more deeply with yourself, get in touch today.